We all have someone in the family who only thinks of himself. They are manipulative and play with our emotions. It’s a complicated problem because these people have close ties to us, but what can we do to defend ourselves? Today we will talk about how you can defend yourself against toxic family members!

Toxic family members when the family is suffering

Experts tell us that having  toxic family members  in our personal circle of friends can seriously affect our quality of life. If we have a friend who is selfish and manipulative, for example, we can always end the friendship and make new friends to create balance and integrity. But what happens when the manipulative human being is our own mother, brother or even a spouse? It is not easy.

You can not so easily end a  relationship  with a mother, brother or mother-in-law. There are a lot of complex and difficult emotions around the problem. They are of our own flesh and blood and it is difficult to break such a bond,  but many people need it for their own health. There are times when these relationships explode and these toxic family members can seriously undermine our emotional balance.

An example of this is parents who do not allow their children to choose their partners freely, those who criticize friendships and relationships. We all make mistakes, but what do we do when someone like your brother or sister brings something up or throws something in your face to hurt you? How do we act? We give you the answers.

Set boundaries: You need to know what you want. and what you will not allow

Let’s look at an example. You’re coming to dinner at your in-laws’ house and they’ve made some spicy food. You do not like spicy food. It is not good for your digestion. But in order not to attract attention or offend anyone, you prefer to keep quiet and just eat dinner. From now on, every time you go to your in-laws, they serve something spicy, until you have no choice but to announce “that you can not stand spicy food.” You will probably hear something like, “Why haven’t you said that before?”

This is just a simple example, a way to show you how to let people know what you can and cannot accept. If you can not visit your mother every afternoon, or go shopping with your sister, tell them.  If you do not like someone telling you how to raise your children, tell them. Let your voice be heard without scolding. Always speak with respect and care. You do not have to burn bridges by expressing yourself and your emotions. It is not to be selfish, it is to be sincere.

2. Learn to be confident, without being condescending

Sometimes we do not want to hurt a family member, so we keep things to ourselves, just like when parents or grandparents complain about always being alone, but the fact is that we always take care of them. With siblings saying we are not supportive enough, we need to be confident and with respect and care tell them the truth:  “I always come when I can, and you know that when you need me, you can always call. ” “You know I’m always there for you. Do not demand things from me that I can not do. I’m also in a difficult situation right now and you need to understand that. Be sincere and caring, but tell the truth and tell how you feel. Let them know what you can and cannot do. Show them that you have needs that need to be respected.

3. Support your family unconditionally, but remember to take care of your own needs

The family always comes first. Many think so. Just as much as they are a part of our lives, they can also harm us and constitute a destructive presence. There are those who were abused or mistreated in childhood. Maintaining a cordial relationship with these people will never be possible, and it is clear. It is important to always take care of your  self-confidence, to know that you are a mature, balanced person with a daily need to be happy. If someone in your family hurts you, it is important to put some distance to restore our integrity, self-esteem and peace.

Do you have any toxic family members? Now you have a better idea of ​​how to handle the situation. In the end, it is your family and they love you, even if you say your opinion!